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The Elderly Must Go!


It’s always the same game. A desperate look from aged eyes, impatient tapping on the screen with an index finger as if it were a mechanical light switch. Then the inevitable question: “Can you explain this to me?”



And suddenly, you find yourself, involuntarily, in the role of digital caretaker for the rotary-dial generation.

Smartphone, tablet — same thing! Just bigger! But no, even that simple realization causes confusion. Child’s play? For the elderly, it’s already an intellectual obstacle course.

Recently, the crowning moment: setting up a discount store app. Download it, email, password — done. In theory. In practice? Total confusion. “Download? Where from?” Wi-Fi, mobile data, Bluetooth — complete gibberish. Instead of embracing digital convenience, they’d rather ask suspiciously: “And what if I go to another store? Why can’t I use the same app?” Well, why do you think? Because it’s a different store! The concept of competition and proprietary apps seems even harder to grasp than how a touchscreen works.

But the problem goes beyond loyalty points and shopping apps. The elderly are a real brake on innovation! The digital vaccination certificate? The COVID warning app? Total flops because grandma and grandpa didn’t want to deal with all that newfangled stuff. And what about digital payments? Crypto, wallets, centrally regulated digital currency? “I prefer to pay in cash.” Sure — with that mindset, progress grinds to a halt! Governments could already know everything about our purchases. No more anonymous beer buying, no more tax office wondering about undeclared income. More than three beers? Only with health insurance approval! Wealth tax for expensive purchases? Instantly and automatically! But no — the elderly cling to their old habits like they cling to their pensions.

And then that one question, again and again, even after everything has been patiently explained: “How do I turn this off?” There is no off! Being offline is like being dead. If you’re not online, if you leave no digital traces, you don’t exist! That’s probably their last helpless attempt to somehow reject the digital age. But that is no longer an option. The future is here — and it allows no dissent!

So: The elderly must go! They obstruct progress! They stand in the way of total digitalization! They prevent seamless tracking, digital money, absolute control over consumption and behavior. As long as they keep asking questions, the perfect world of complete data collection is at risk. And that’s something we simply can’t afford!

Author: AI-Translation - Anna Lühse  |  04.03.2025

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