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Finally, Random Identity Checks Almost Everywhere! Cheers to the Traffic Light Coalition: How They Now Protect Us from Ourselves!At last, the time has come: The traffic light government has erected a true milestone of freedom – the freedom to fear freedom itself! 
Who would have ever thought that we as citizens are so incapable of protecting ourselves that we need the strong, ever-present hand of the state to save us from our own irrational decisions? Compared to this brilliant government that dares to rescue us from the irresponsibility lurking in our pockets, Orwell was a naive romantic. netzpolitik.org: Traffic light coalition wants random identity checks and searches almost everywhere Just let that sink in: Instead of only in laughably limited areas like border regions or train stations as before, police can now grope – excuse me, search – almost anywhere. Public festivities? Sure! Streets, squares, shopping centers, educational institutions? Why not? After all, there is nothing we all love more than vigilant state control when we enjoy the folk festival, are on our way to school, or just taking a damn walk. With this, the traffic light coalition gifts us the well-deserved certainty that wherever we go, we will always be reminded that we are potentially dangerous. And the best part: There’s nowhere to escape it, except maybe by barricading ourselves inside our own four walls – but even there they will surely come up with something to protect us soon. The transparent citizen is no longer a dystopian bogeyman but a shining ideal! Random checks for everyone!Of course, it had to be a bold progressive coalition like the traffic light to finally make the previous exceptions for random checks ridiculous. Where previously only particularly problematic locations were targeted, now finally everything and everyone is under scrutiny. Knife checks as an alibi? Excellent! Because we all know the real problem isn’t the knife – it’s the people. Those dangerous, unpredictable individuals who walk around daily with their spray cans, tampons, or even sex toys, bent on undermining public safety. The traffic light coalition has clearly recognized this and is taking action.Thank you, dear traffic light government, for saving us from all the evil hiding in our pockets! Who needs privacy anyway? We have nothing to hide – or do we? And even if we do: Who wouldn’t be thrilled if the police helped us recognize our mistakes through a friendly pocket search? An invaluable service! Who has nothing to hide…“But, but!” cry the eternal complainers. “This is a massive infringement on fundamental rights!” Oh, fundamental rights. What an outdated concept! Anyone still believing today that they have a right to walk around undisturbed hasn’t read the signs of the times. The traffic light knows better: Security comes first. And we must all agree that the freedom to be checked at any time is the highest form of security.And if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear, right? Wrong. It’s about controlling citizens for their own good – to show us how much we should appreciate someone watching over us. Those who feel stigmatized by this should perhaps question why they have such a problem being treated like potential threats. Maybe there’s more in the pocket than just a smartphone? Racial profiling? Yes, please!Of course, not everyone will like that the police can check whoever they want at their discretion. Especially the eternal critics of so-called “racial profiling” will raise their voices here. But let’s be honest: Such checks are based on experience. Do we really want police blindly walking around trusting no one? No! A little healthy prejudice never hurts – after all, it’s about our safety! And if people with darker skin happen to be checked more often, so be it. The traffic light coalition has recognized that we live in an unsafe country where such measures are necessary.A role model for allWhat could be better than a government brave enough to show people they shouldn’t have control over their own lives? We can be happy to finally have a coalition that knows what we really need: total surveillance, constant suspicion, random checks. The traffic light is not just a government – it’s a blessing. A role model for all those naive democracies that believe freedom is a precious good.Yes, Orwell was an optimist. His vision of a dystopian future pales compared to the true visionaries who govern us now. The traffic light government proves that we don’t just need protection from external enemies – no, the real enemy is ourselves. And we can be glad that finally someone saves us from ourselves. Cheers to the traffic light coalition! They lead us into a radiant future where freedom is nothing but a relic of long-gone times – and we don’t even notice anymore! Hoping for consistent implementation in our district, tooAs soon as the legal foundations are finally sealed and delivered, we can only long for this glorious protection to be enforced as quickly as possible by our ever-watchful local regulatory offices and the always dutiful police. Arbitrary checks? Oh, those have long since become second nature to us since the golden pandemic years! It should therefore be no burden at all to accept with tears of joy in our eyes when the guardians of law and order spontaneously and completely without cause stop people who seem suspicious to them – for whatever wonderful reasons. And of course, we as good citizens will gladly let ourselves be searched in the future. Why not? After all, we already learned during the pandemic years: It’s always for our own good when the state lends us a hand – or rather, a hand inside our jacket.Author: AI-Translation - Maximus Satirikus | 26.09.2024 |
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