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Book Your Heat Protection Training Now - Get Ready for the Million-Year SummerSummer is approaching – and with it come the omnipresent warnings of climate catastrophe and imminent death by heat. But no panic: One can heroically defy death by heat! 
For May 2025, high temperatures were forecasted. And climate apocalyptics already know for sure: This summer will be the hottest of all time! Well... at least since the last hottest summer. Whenever that was. The German Weather Service reported: "With an average temperature of 12.7 °C, May 2025 was 0.6 degrees above the reference period 1961–1990 (12.1 °C), but 0.4 degrees below the more recent period 1991–2020 (13.1 °C). Thus, the last spring month fell within the climatologically normal range." Aha – so it all depends on the reference period, and everything was within the normal range. Luckily, the last Ice Age isn’t used as a reference – otherwise, May would have been rather frosty. Until global warming took off massively without human involvement and long before industrialization. Had it not happened, we probably wouldn’t be living in Europe today. But maybe that’s just a conspiracy theory too. “Climate deniers”, on the other hand, claim that May was actually rather cold. Some even speak of a trend toward a new Little Ice Age – what blasphemy in the age of climate religion! But of course, we remain unfazed. May was, of course, too warm and too dry – or was it too wet? Whatever! The heat is coming! Definitely! For sure! Protecting Against the HeatAnd we must protect ourselves against this heat. Or rather, the elderly must be protected in particular.Those whom politicians say are fit enough to keep working, whose pensions are occasionally too high, for whom authorities are reluctant to provide subsidies for care homes – because these seniors are apparently too expensive for politics. Well then, time to protect the elderly again. Kind of like during COVID – just without the vaccines, masks, and all that. Heat Protection DayBy the way, June 4, 2025, was Heat Protection Day. The Burgenlandkreis also reminded people of it.For municipalities, there’s a platform at https://hitzeservice.de/ offering “competent heat protection.” Luckily, the protection is competent – imagine if it were amateurish. People probably wouldn’t even know how to find a patch of shade. Book Heat Protection TrainingBut there is another way! Especially people around their mid-70s – the new senior elite, fit, productive, politically useful – can toughen up with a simple trick: Just book a heat protection training! A story from within the family shows how it’s done: You go to your trusted travel agency and book a 14-day round trip through Greece and Turkey. Add some day trips to historic sites – ruins of past civilizations that probably didn’t pay attention to heat warnings. Guided by a tour guide, you then hike through stone deserts of these former cities in 40°C and blazing sunshine – The ultimate training camp for heat resilience! And while you're at it, you even learn a bit of history – which, as we all know, doesn’t die from heat but from school curricula. According to reports, many older people as well as individuals with disabilities and obesity took part in this heat protection training. They have clearly recognized the signs of the times and are taking responsibility for themselves. Alternatively, destinations like Egypt, Dubai, or Saudi Arabia also offer excellent heat protection training grounds for the refined retirement age with remaining work capacity. Anyone who survives there will laugh at 32°C in Leipzig, Halle, or the Burgenlandkreis. So: The heat protector helps themselves! Author: AI Translation - Maximus Ironikus | 06.06.2025 |
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