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Rosy Times – What Voters Expect from the Upcoming Grand Coalition (GroKo)So the election of the century is just around the corner. It’s either five to twelve (optimists), ten past twelve (realists), or – according to the pessimists – we can no longer afford clocks! 
I hear: “The dice are already cast. The voter has already decided for a GroKo and surely knows why they will vote for the GroKo.” Others expect the Afghanistan Coalition (AfKo). Hopefully, that will be a good omen, since our democracy and freedom were once defended at the Hindu Kush – and of course we can all firmly count on that. Since no one can afford lies without comment in social media times, we have to believe the parties’ election posters. Luckily, there are enough fellow citizens who do that and accordingly cast their votes into the ballot boxes – woohoo! All predictions or polls see the CDU as the strongest opposition party at the chancellor’s control! Since it is unfortunately still drifting around 30%, at least the SPD and/or even the GREENS will be needed for a governing majority. But that doesn’t matter, because... 1. Mr. Merz doesn’t mess around. He couldn’t care less who has to provide the majority! I say “has to” deliberately, because whoever wants ministerial posts, company cars, to keep the AfD out and go up and down various gangways, must do so! 2. the parties in question are pretty much united in their goals anyway! We will definitely be much better off than before!!! That’s reassuring to know! While the Greens only promise “confidence” – unclear whether they are confident because of being in government or we are confident because of the expected wealth – the CDU raises it to: “Shaping Germany with confidence”! There you go. The tax-free overtime should again be felt in the wallet – provided you have one and do overtime. Okay, I heard the state and municipalities are broke, but with billions in investment debt loans it will work out. Who needs a debt brake when you’re pressing the “Putin-gas-pedal of the turning times”? Finally, there will be turning points in family, migration, and economic policies. Immigration? Only skilled workers – no changes needed there. It’s working! Habeck’s heating law will be abolished. That will surely work since it was just a test for our climate minister to see how far he can go with us stubborn citizens. Childcare and expansion of schools and daycares are also back on the agenda. This time it will definitely, definitely, definitely be implemented! However, school and education are matters for the states and do not concern the federal government. The issue of security should also be no problem for the three parties. At least outwardly, they want to be able to defend themselves again so they don’t have to defend themselves… (CDU) … simply brilliant!!! You’re happy to give there. Taurus deliveries won’t be an issue at all. The SPD is supposedly against it, but luckily that won’t impress Merz. And whether ex-chancellor Scholz will remember his NO – who knows? No doubt we will continue to pursue a position of military strength, and on election day voters will surely clearly show they mostly want to grant our Taurus peacekeepers to other countries as well, e.g., Ukraine! Our selfishness must finally end – neither our country nor our weapons belong to us! Internal security will be controlled with knife and car ban zones. The rest will be achieved with Lego bricks – well, the bigger ones of course – and bans on gatherings! Not the ones from the oven, rather carnival parades and Christmas markets! The CDU guarantees secure pensions, whereas the SPD even promises stable pensions! Whether “stable” or “secure” means inflation adjustment during high inflation remains to be seen. But let’s assume the best intentions. And in case the promises break, we’ve set up trash bins to make sure seniors still get enough to throw away. Oh yes, one thing I haven’t heard from the future coalition parties yet: S A V I N G! Author: AI-Translation - E. E. Quiche | 18.02.2025 |
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