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You just can’t stop occupying bridges to demonstrate for peace


Oh, those peace fanatics – they just can’t get enough. There they were again on 10.10.2024, with their flags, doves, and “peace” symbols, as if it were 1969 and not 2024. Like so many times before on a bridge over the B91 near Theißen / Zeitz.


What a spectacle: They even held up the German flag, maybe to show that we once had pacifists too. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more absurd, the scene was lit up with lights that were probably supposed to reach the brain cells of passing drivers. Of course, they had to wave too – how else could they grab attention?

And here’s the kicker: The drivers even encouraged these bridge illuminations! Instead of ignoring these peace lights, they actually responded with honking and flashing their headlights. If that’s not proof that moral decay has already arrived right on our highways and federal roads. According to intelligence files, basically decent people drive there and support this peace show by honking. Where is the civil courage to put an end to this madness?

But seriously: When will someone finally explain to these hopelessly idealistic bridge occupiers that their little light shows not only achieve nothing but absolutely nobody cares – especially not the government? Our dearly beloved Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock has said it loud and clear: What her own voters or the population want doesn’t interest her. And honestly, it shouldn’t! After all, those up there know way better what’s good for us. The rabble should obediently watch ARD and ZDF, do what they’re told from above, and wait for the next brilliant proposal from Berlin telling us how to live our lives.

So while the true heroes of this society – meaning the average citizen – sit comfortably in their homes, listen to state media, and await the next highlight from the ministries, these peace nuts stand on bridges and wave to cars. Really? The highly esteemed Prime Minister Markus Söder is already wisely calling for the reintroduction of conscription as soon as possible, because we all know the Russian will come knocking in exactly 5 to 8 years. The Defense Minister himself has told us this – and if anyone knows about war, it’s him! After all, he’s already busy ordering the latest war equipment.

And yes, we can massively expand the Bundeswehr in today’s times. Back then, when it was about building an empire that should last 1000 years, it was possible to become fully war-ready from 1933 to 1939 – in just over 6 years. We can do that today too, if we really put our backs into it. Yes, we can do it, as long as we don’t get distracted or misled by peace mumblers.


Honestly: A decent citizen knows what matters. He sits at home, polishing his great-grandfather’s rifle and just waiting for the conscription notice for his sons (and daughters, of course, since we’re modern now) to drop into the mailbox. You have to be prepared. We don’t want the Russian to catch us cold. That’s how it is in the best Germany there ever was: Always a few steps ahead – especially in waging war.

And these bridge clowns now want to convince us that we want peace? As if that made any sense. Peace? Ridiculous. We need war! We want war! Only then can we finally be proud again of our brave men and women going into battle – just like our ancestors did. It’s really about time we mentally prepare ourselves for our children to die for “our values.” We haven’t seen that for 85 years! It’s high time for a new patriotic climax.

And when the letters come saying that the son (or daughter, of course) has fallen in battle – well, it’s much easier to bear if you already had the right mindset.

So, dear peace activists: Don’t make a fool of yourselves. Keep the bridges free for the true heroes of the country – those who look forward to war and obediently do as they’re told. Nobody needs your lights and doves. Peace? No thanks. We have better things to do!

And to everyone else: Woe to you if you dare to stand with these war delegitimizers at future bridge illuminations. We know who you are! We know where you live! We know where you work! We’ll snitch to your employers! We can freeze your accounts! We can make your life difficult if you step out of line or even remotely express thoughts threatening the state’s welfare! So stay home and shut up! Because anyone who stands for peace is against our beloved government and thus an enemy of our democracy!

Woe if you move and get off your ass! Woe to you!

Author: AI-Translation - Maximus Satirikus  |  10.10.2024

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