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Federal Government Plans to Import Wind Because Domestic Wind Isn’t EnoughAs the last coal power plants are ceremoniously shut down and the final nuclear plant exists only in history books, the federal government has unveiled a plan so brilliant that even physics turns green with envy. The wind in Germany? Not enough. Period. But don’t worry – we’ll just import it. Genius! 
Prof. Dr. Eduard Heindl brutally calculated in his lecture “Is the Wind Enough?”: The kinetic energy of the air flowing over our beautiful 360,000 square kilometers of land is physically insufficient to generate the planned 1,700+ terawatt-hours of electricity needed for a full transition to wind and solar – including heat pumps, electric cars, and industry that hasn’t completely left yet. Even if you consider all of Germany as one giant air box, take the average wind speed at 150 meters height, and calculate with 40 percent efficiency, you at best get around 80 gigawatts of continuous power. But demand averages over 200 gigawatts. In winter, when solar energy contributes almost nothing (only about 9 percent of annual yield in the dark months), things get really tight. The Solution: Wind ImportBut hey – physics is just an opinion, right? The federal government has found the ultimate solution: wind import. Similar to natural gas, which is supposedly being phased out of the energy system by 2045 (except when it’s needed again), wind will now be brought in from distant regions of the world.Imagine this: In wind-rich areas – say Mongolia, Patagonia, or over the South Atlantic – gigantic “wind-catching facilities” will be built. There, the precious wind is captured, compressed, and shipped in special tankers to Germany. The technology is still under development, but the principle is childishly simple: Just like in Schilda sunlight was trapped with mirrors and stuffed into bags, here the wind is compressed into pressure containers. Arrival in Hamburg harbor, then distributed across the country via pipeline or truck. On calm days, simply open the tap – and every wind turbine spins as if by magic. Perfect for the dark doldrums! The benefits are overwhelming: Light sovereignty: Instead of Russian gas, now Mongolian wind. A geopolitical quantum leap. Pure sustainability: Imported wind is 100 percent renewable and leaves no CO₂ traces – except, of course, for the production of tankers, compressors, and pipelines. But that doesn’t count because it’s for the climate. Economic boom: New jobs are created! Wind customs officers, wind quality inspectors (“Is this premium wind from the North Sea or just cheap wind from the Sahara?”), wind warehouse staff, and of course wind import lobbyists. International solidarity: Countries with abundant wind can finally share their surplus. France and the UK will be delighted not to have to keep their own wind for themselves. And Poland? They’ll just get the leftover wind from our facilities – a fair deal. Critics, who still bother with dusty laws like energy conservation or momentum conservation, will of course complain: “You can’t just transport wind without it losing energy!” Or: “If all countries massively expand wind power, even less will reach us.” Small-minded thinking. The Agora studies have already calculated this – or at least politically wished it. And if physics doesn’t cooperate, we’ll just change the framework. If necessary, by regulation. Particularly commendable is the federal government’s consistency. Natural gas is yesterday – a fossil relic from the Stone Age of energy policy. Instead, we now import an energy source even more elusive than hydrogen and harder to store. That’s progress! Soon we’ll also need to import sunlight, because domestic solar yields in winter are known to resemble a flashlight with dead batteries. Containers of compressed photons from the Sahara? Why not. The logistics will work out. In Schilda, they ended up covering the town hall to keep more light inside. The federal government goes one step further: not only do they cover it, they import the light – and the wind along with it. Absolute mastery. Germany is thus becoming a pioneer of a new global energy order: imported renewables. While other countries naively think energy must be generated where it’s needed, we show that globalization works even with invisible currents. Hats off, dear federal government! Keep it up. The wind of change is blowing – and if not, we’ll just order it express. The electricity customer will pay the bill anyway. Sources of physics: Eduard Heindl and various other experts who actually bothered to calculate instead of just wishing. But what do they know – they don’t have a political majority. Author: AI-Translation - АИИ | |
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